Written By Eric Harmon
If you are like a lot of urban ministers you have probably have an interesting group of people you call friends; former addicts, Nepali refugees, prostitutes, Chinese businessmen, etc… Some of these people are gentle and easy to love and some have their challenges. Often our gatherings are composed of a motley crew all in pursuit of Jesus. This is one of the things I love about being with my South Street family — you can never surprise them with the guest you bring to Thanksgiving dinner!
I have known a guy named Butch for years. He is like a lot of guys I know on the street, sometimes he is homeless, often he is addicted, and usually he is pleasant. Some years ago he was lucid and made an effort to fight his demons. Butch is an unlikely poet with a beautiful voice for singing. But, recently it seems that his mental illness has taken over and he no longer writes or sings. He disappears often, but in time reemerges, he tries to sell me something, I usually decline, and we talk for a while. I hope he starts to write again. Butch was known for his work as a sub-contractor for “Hells Angels” and did a significant amount of time for a series of robberies, one of which where a police officer was killed. He can be a challenge to love and he is my friend.
Reconciliation is a transformative process that is often messy and is a core Christian Community Development Association value. As I have heard John Perkins say before “Reconciliation is much more than getting together singing one another’s songs and eating the other’s food!” But as most of us know reconciliation comes from one on one hard heart work. That takes time, trust, and a reciprocal relationship that is open and vulnerable or what we know as a friendship. Reconciliation is not something one takes on alone. It is certainly impossible to be reconciled to “your neighbor” on your own, improbable “to God”, and difficult “to yourself.” There is a wise African proverb that says “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Reconciliation is a long journey and a friend is a partner in this transformative process.
Thomas Merton, a modern contemplative speaks of the “false self” and the “true self”. The “false self” being the identity of the individual the world has formed within them; addict, murder, loser, loner, etc. The “true self” being the created self that God intended; beautiful, humble, valued, a child of God. The Body of Christ, a friend, is a guide in overcoming the obstacle of the “false self” embedded within all of us and an aide to rediscover the “true self.” It is messy, ugly, long and truly liberating process to separate what one has done and even who one has become, from who I truly am and who God created me to be. It is a painful process I had to undergo after a tour of duty in Iraq and a two year prison stint, to reveal the red-headed kid from the suburbs who has an impulsive sense of adventure not meant to be used for warfare and crime, but for bringing service in the love of God to some unstable places to some challenging people who were not so unlike myself.
There is an odd verse in Ephesians Chapter four where Paul describes Jesus’ ascension and descention. He ascended that he might also descend and took “captivity itself a captive” and “gave gifts to his people.” I am sure there is some commentary on this that presents a different meaning however, I take this to mean that after the cross even captivity is under the dominion of Christ, so that even the captors (the traditional enemies of God and the oppressed) now have the opportunity to be set free from that which captivates them. This is of course not just for their own redemption, but so that they may participate in liberating others held in bondage (gifts). These gifts are for us, the Body of Christ, the friends of “sinners”, to guide us in the process of reconciliation. It is here we empowered with the audacity to love and hope for some truly challenging people.
This sounds like some nice stuff to give some hope to some challenging people, so maybe they will feel a little better and move along. I wouldn’t believe it myself, however I have seen it work. I have seen the sex offender reconcile, get a job, a house, a nice wife, and become a respected member of the church and his community. I have seen the negligent mom lose her kids for good and after years of transformation in process have the courts grant her custody of children that needed a mom. I have seen the violent offender reconcile, overcome that which disturbed him and once healed, turn around and dedicate his service to justice. I don’t see it as often as I like, but by the grace of God I see it enough to have hope for the next guy.